Building better habits and setting productive goals is in their air during school supply season. It’s the best and I miss school so I’m cashing in!
By trading my wine-downs for more intentional activities.
Maybe it’s the smell of pencil shavings coming from my daughter’s backpack and the way it smells a little too much like the box of Pinot Noir from Trader Joe’s, but this month is officially dubbed Sober September.
I’m celebrating solo, unless you count my kids. Although the baby does get over attached to Cocomelon, but we’ll excuse that! Still, I’m starting to come back to life and exciting to see what I can accomplish.
I’m not a stranger to making big goals, and have no problem setting my sights high. But goals can be tricky, so I’m hoping to learn from my mistakes this time.
Goal setting secrets (read: what NOT to do)
I’ve never been great at achieving my big goals. It’s easy to blame everything in a toddler mom’s life, but my biggest pitfalls are:
- Time management
- Verbalizing my goals, often & proudly
- Neglecting success
Making time to make things happen is a no brainer. Most advice says to schedule time every week to do the thing, but finding regular windows of opportunity is… impossible?
I’ve been living the mom-of-young-kids lifestyle for several years. Not only is my time limited, but my brain is filled with family-focused chatter. And even when I’m relaxing, it feels like I’m waiting to be needed.
It’s starting to ease up now that the baby is 3, and those windows of opportunity are starting to reveal themselves.
After living with no time to manage for myself, I can finally appreciate and maximize my new found freedom. Even if it requires a 10-minute meditation buffer to get me “in the mood”.
Sitting around waiting to be needed allows me to hang out and do passive activities to reach my goals. Listening to podcasts is one of my favorite ways for me to feel like I’m not putting my goals on the back burner.
But at some point it becomes procrastination.
The die hard goal chasers know, if your goals don’t make you nervous they aren’t big enough.
That can come with a lot to learn. Which just so happens to be my forte. I wanna learn who every authority is and where they’ve been and binge all of their content and Never. Stop. Consuming.
It’s easy to keep spinning your wheels trying to digest everything. Eventually it will get you in a loop of podcasts and blog posts, and it is the leading cause of analysis paralysis.
I can’t actually prove that but it’s been my reality so consider this a case study.
After devouring content from a black-hole sized plate, that new found know-how has to go somewhere.
I find myself thinking I’m ready to go and take on my next to-do, but end up discovering a new topic and dive deep during step 1 or 2. Back into consumption mode.
It’s a vicious cycle bouncing between too much of one too little of the other. And honestly, it wouldn’t been so bad if it were the other way around!
Over-executing is hands down, the BEST way to learn. Even if I never listen to another podcast again, my experience DOING will be incredibly valuable.
Even the action of writing out that simple fact is a form of execution I haven’t seen in a while (and a friendly reminder to myself).
Sharing your goals
When it comes to our goals, we need to be a little selfish. Not necessarily with the outcomes, but absolutely with the process.
Because every time you get excited about what you’re working on and spill the tea to a friend or literally anyone (….🙋♀️), you’re getting a sliver of feeling like it’s already done. But it… isn’t.
The most motivating factor we humans have going for us is that sweet sweet dopamine hit we get when it’s done.
That relieved feeling when we check things off a list.
It’s a drug, and it is released when we talk about the thing we want to do and it tricks our brain to stop chasing it so hard.
And that’s why people are so hesitant to share things with the masses until it’s actually happening… it’s not only about hype. Sometimes, lol.
Get out of my way, me!
The biggest speed bump I’m faced with isn’t my kids or my job, it’s my bad habits. The ones that make me spin my wheels.
I’ve gotten pretty comfortable sitting in a simulator of “getting things done”. It’s easy to find excuses when you’re in a cushy seat learning from everyone that gets off the simulator and into the race, and even easier when you’re trying to be an ever-present mom.
But goals aren’t achieved in our head. You know?